my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize