take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
