i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
