I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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