the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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