awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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