evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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