some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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