I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Michael Bay diarrhea
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
