I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
