Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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