I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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