so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
