I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
