Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
