K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish you could order shots online.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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