I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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