I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
