He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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