just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
