I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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