I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize