Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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