my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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