Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
