is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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