I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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