Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
