I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
