My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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