Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
