she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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