I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
