Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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