Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
