You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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