I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
