your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
