He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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