see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize