i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
