Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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