ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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