he wants to bone in the snuggie
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize