I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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