She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize