I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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