dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am one with the molecules
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
