Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
