hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
