i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.