I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
