omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
