Texts From Last Night

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  (806): View more from Texas

  I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did it?

  (806): View more from Texas

  Not as such, no.

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  (806): I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes. (512): Did it? (806): Not as such, no. http://tfl.nu/c480
  Replies (37) Good night (689) Bad night (4668)
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  (650): View more from California

  The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.

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  (650): The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life. http://tfl.nu/2quw
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (4391)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

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  (315): My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?' http://tfl.nu/x9n6
  Replies (13) Good night (8582) Bad night (1585)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.

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  (307): And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door. http://tfl.nu/qc62
  Replies (2) Good night (1233) Bad night (628)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.

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  (307): I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it. http://tfl.nu/zamd
  Replies (2) Good night (1563) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...

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  (419): Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great... http://tfl.nu/5p74
  Replies (1) Good night (1619) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup

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  (207): I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup http://tfl.nu/gqz1
  Replies (20) Good night (1665) Bad night (668)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.

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  (580): That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/nlfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (692)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.

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  (616): youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for. http://tfl.nu/hm3o
  Replies (7) Good night (1103) Bad night (620)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"

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  (715): He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl" http://tfl.nu/l2de
  Replies (18) Good night (596) Bad night (3148)
• Favorite

  (234): View more from Ohio

  Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.

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  (234): Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night. http://tfl.nu/5j4g
  Replies (3) Good night (1306) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.

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  (425): You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows. http://tfl.nu/kzgw
  Replies (1) Good night (940) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.

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  (616): in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral. http://tfl.nu/e47f
  Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.

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  (573): Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move. http://tfl.nu/x4s9
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car

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  (336): Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car http://tfl.nu/u9oi
  Replies (3) Good night (1106) Bad night (258)

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