There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
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coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.