he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
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He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
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My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.