Whatcha textin bout Willis?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize