too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
