i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
