Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I fill condoms, not promises.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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