Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
