i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize